


Ballad Of Jayne

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-12
Updated: 2004-03-12
Packaged: 2019-04-29 09:41:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: Jayne remembers the past and River has a birthday, plus some romance.





	Ballad Of Jayne

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

Ballad Of Jayne

## Ballad Of Jayne

### by Neroli

Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me, they are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox Feedback is always welcome.  
Many thanks to L.A.Guns, since I shamelessly stole the title for this piece from them. It takes place about a year after Ariel...a couple months after OiS. 

* * *

Jayne sat on his bunk, looking down at the white box sitting in his hands. It was the box his Ma had sent him his new hat in a couple months back, though that was not what sat in it now. Jayne reached out gingerly and ran a fingertip lightly over the soft fabric inside, remembering the first time he'd seen them sittin' in that shop window back home....home, he hadn't let himself think much on that place in years. He closed his eyes and let himself remember _her_ and all that lead up to his leaven' for the first time since he'd flown off that rock. 

Jayne had known her most of his life, Megan was the daughter of the Magistrate Jayne's family had been indentured too. He'd been a fair man, bit harsh at times but all things considerin' Jayne knew his family had been lucky. He'd seen more men take undue advantage of their indentured servants in the years since he'd left then not. His Pa had died in a mining accident when Jayne was 11. Jayne, being the oldest, had taken Pa's place in the mines working off the family's debt. Least Magistrate Anders had been a fair enough man that only one of them had to work the mines for him, most places the whole family would'a been working off the debt. Ma would'a done it but there had been young'ns needed looking out for and their little plot of land to take care of, so Jayne had left off his schooling and gone to work. It was hard, back-breaking work haulin' the minerals out of the mines and Jayne had been a bit scrawny when he'd started workin' there. He'd toughened up mighty fast though. Got so's he was the biggest and strongest by the time he was 16. What with him workin' off the debt and his siblings helpin' out at home they got by well enough, was never much left off for savin', but they were fair in line for being free folks by the time he was 20, never occurred to Jayne when he was 16 that he'd do anything other then stay where he was, working the mines for money once he was free and livin' with his family on their tiny farm. 

And there was a bright spot in it all, seeing her when she'd come to visit the mines with her father. Jayne knew she was above him, out of reach...with her golden hair and bright blue eyes...she was his angel, but sometimes she smiled at him. Megan was a year or two older, wiser....at 16 Jayne had been working 5 years already, from before sun up to after sundown, hadn't had time for gettin' to know girls and such. Even though he had no plans to leave he wanted to be free...his family to not owe, not be owned anymore...and he wanted to be a man. He knew it would make little difference to Megan, he still had little hope of being with her...but there was some...some small chance he had of her seein' him as a man if he was free that he did not have as things were. She made him feel all soft inside, when she walked by somethin' in him melted. She was so fragile, delicate...he knew he was too rough for her but he couldn't stop dreamin' of her. 

Then there was that night he was walking home after his shift, tired as always, grimy as always, hungry as always....not starving, but never really full neither. Megan had stepped out from behind a tree in front of him, near scared him to death. She giggled softly when she saw his pale face in the soft light comin' from the other moon. He knew he must look pretty foolish gaping at her like that. She spun gently...dancing under the night sky...just for him. "I know what you want" she whispered "I know what I want, too." She'd danced right up next to him, now she was still, standing in front of him almost touching. She reached out, letting her hands run up his broad chest. "So big, so strong" one of her hands trailed down slowly as she grinned up at him "wonder if your as big and strong down here." Jayne felt like he was going to die, couldn't breath, his breath was stuck in his throat. "Yes, I do believe you are" she giggled up at him, then she kissed him, letting her tongue slide out over his lips, tasting him....hers were so soft against him he thought he was gonna burst right then and there. He hadn't, not till later, after she'd shown him what other things her lips could do. Then she'd shown him what his could do for her, and then what their bodies could do for each other. Jayne never made it home that night. 

Things went back to how they had been before after that, 'cept she smiled at him every time now, smiled with a knowing, wanting look. And then on one of his rare days off he'd seen them in that store window. They reminded him of that night, how she'd danced for him, of how soft and graceful and pretty she was. He'd put what little he had down on them, started making payments on them picking up extra shifts where he could to pay them off sooner. Jayne figured her father had been upset when she hadn't come home that night and was keeping close tabs on her, plus with his working more she'd have a harder time catching him going home. Her knowing little smiles left him no doubt that she still wanted him. That she had plans to see him again like that. So he worked his shifts and made his payments while dreaming that someday soon she'd come to him again. He heard the rumors of course, 'bout her being betrothed to that rich guy that sometimes came to the mines with the Magistrate. But he knew she did not love him, that she wanted him, Jayne. He'd seen it in her eyes. He knew when he got a chance to give her what he'd bought that she'd see he wanted her too. That things would work out. 

A couple weeks after he finished payin' them off she came to him again, it had nearly been a year since that first time. Same place as before, which was good since that was where he'd hid 'em. She came to him all softlike at first, then gotten real rough with him. Taking what she wanted, not that Jayne minded...he wanted to give it to her. Wanted it as much as she did. Afterwards he'd lain there drifting off a bit before he remembered what he had for her. He knew he had to give them to her tonight, her wedding was only a week off. He'd almost given up hope that she would come to him before then so he could show her how he felt and they could be together. So he'd gone and gotten the box out of it's hiding place...setting it down shyly next to her. She looked at it and Jayne felt a sense of unease as he realized her expression was not a happy one. "What's that." she'd asked harshly. "Present for you" Jayne said softly "thought ya might like it...." She looked up at him with something like scorn in her eyes, but she'd opened it....and laughed. She laughed so hard tears rolled down her face. Jayne felt like all the blood was drainin' out of him. "What made you think I would want this _go_ _se_ Jake?" she asked....and Jayne felt his heart break....she didn't even know his name. "Look.." she said, her face gettin' hard " I am marrying the richest man this part of the galaxy in a week, this means nothing, never did, never will...I wanted some fun before I take my place in society, but I _will_ be taking it!" Her look plainly told Jayne nothing he could offer her...ever...would be enough to even tempt her to give up her rich, well ordered life and if he tried to make trouble about her wedding she'd make him pay for it. 

He watched her leave through the tears in his eyes...then gently gathered up the things she'd discarded and went home. 

He'd gone back to his empty life in the mines, finished up his family's debt then took the first transport off that forsaken rock. He'd never been back neither...kept in touch when he could with his Ma, if he got some spare he'd send that back too. But he never once returned. He'd drifted for a while, lookin' for something he was good at that wasn't mining. Got in a few bar brawls along the way, learned to shoot. In one of those brawls his first partner spotted him, Ace was a wiry, smart fella without much brawn to him...probably why Jayne caught his eye. He'd taught Jayne about the in's and out's of being a Merc...been almost like a new Pa to him. 'Course, he'd sold Jayne out a year later when they'd gotten in a tight spot. Last thing Ace taught him was not to trust anyone ever again, not even his partner. Ace had also been the only one that'd seen what Jayne had sown into the lining of his duffle bag. Only one that knew what Jayne still carried with him. They were all Jayne had left to remind him of _her_ except the memories he wouldn't let himself think on. And he never wanted to forget that woman...if he ever did he might make the same mistake and Jayne had no intention of ever lettin' a woman get that close to him again. 

He shook his head, clearing the clouds of memories away, letting the hum of Serenity bring him back to his bunk. He felt a bit drained, but otherwise ok...which seemed a bit odd. He'd never let this memory come back because it had always brought a sting to his eye when it tried to. But he had needed to remember, if he hadn't he wouldn't be able to let her go and Jayne needed to let her go now...he had found who she reminded him of. 

"Gorramit Jayne, gettin' all sentimental..." he muttered to himself. He looked down at them laying there in the box where he'd put them an hour or so ago, then he started wrapping them up, wonderin' why he was thinking on giving them away again. 

* * *

River sat at the table...she could feel the buzz of emotions around her. She knew why they were all so excited, they thought they were hiding it well, but she knew. They had a surprise for her...a surprise that she knew about...but she let them think they were fooling her, that she didn't notice them buzzing around like busy bees. 

She glanced slowly around the table at them all, Simon trying to look serious as he helped Kaylee clear the table, Kaylee trying hard to not grin and making sure she brushed against Simon as he moved past her, Inara looking serene as always, though her eyes twinkled a bit brighter then usual, Captain Mal staring down at his plate as Kaylee grabbed it making sure not to make eye contact with her so that River could not see what was up in his eyes, Zo and Wash sharing a private smile, Jayne scowling at her like she'd stolen his favorite hat again, Book folding his hands on the table and looking back at her steadily. She heard Kaylee giggle as she and Simon brought the cake out. She managed a surprised look as they placed it in front of her though inside she felt a little sad...today had been such fun watching them trying so hard to keep secrets and all the excitement in the air, but now it was nearly over....just the birthday singing and the presents...not so much fun when you already knew what they all were...well...not all...she looked at Jayne again, her brow creasing with puzzlement. 

She stole glances at Jayne as she opened her presents....he was working on his second piece of cake so wasn't paying her much mind at the moment, but then, he had gotten pretty good at ignoring her lately 

Journal from Simon, dress from Kaylee, hair bow from Captain Mal, brush from Inara, dinosaur from Wash, box to put it in from Zo (she had a feeling Zo expected her to get a lot of those dinosaurs from Wash), nothing from Jayne, book from Book...that one made her giggle. But it wasn't right, she knew Jayne had wrapped one....she saw it sitting on his bunk even now. She just didn't know what was in it. It made her ache, she knew Jayne had started to care for her since that night in the cargo bay, even though he did not want to, and she had hoped tonight he'd make some effort toward accepting that. In truth, ever since Ariel he'd been slowly getting more protective of her...at first out of guilt as it became clearer to him what she had been through, what he'd almost sent her back too. Then getting protective of her like he was with Kaylee, a little girl that needed looking out for, only not quite like he was with Kaylee. Kaylee reminded him of one of his little sisters where as River reminded him of someone else...someone that had brought him pain...River wasn't sure who she was or how she hurt him, but she could see her sometimes in his eyes when he looked at her. Last time she had seen her though had been the night in the cargo bay...since then Jayne had only seen River when he looked at her. And that had made River feel very fuzzy inside even with his recent coldness toward her. 

She let her mind wander back to the cargo bay...she knew the others were still so used to her not being all there with them that none would find it amiss now. In fact Jayne seemed to be the only one that even noticed it much anymore, well, and Simon....but with Simon it was a rather clinical notation being made in his head that his little Sister needed new medication soon. With Jayne it had gone from looking like she'd just sprouted horns and a tail to a kinda curious fascination. Like he really wondered what went on in her head when she went like that. She'd been gone like this that night too...dreaming that she was dancing on the clouds...it had been a good going awayness...she'd felt all floaty and free that night...everyone else dreaming peacefully and she was dancing...just her in her head for once and her head doing what she wanted....which was making clouds for her to dance on. She wasn't sure how long she'd been dancing when she'd heard Jayne's sharp intake of pain....she wasn't sure he'd even made that noise out loud...but she heard it anyway and it threw her off....normally she knew where everyone was...all the time. But she'd been so caught up in her dream she hadn't felt Jayne wake or come down the stairs. Her awareness slammed back into her body as she stopped spinning with a jolt. 

Her eyes went wide when they saw Jayne's face....she saw _her_ there...knew Jayne was seeing both of them, then watched her drain away so he was only seeing River....watched as his eyes widened in horror as she started to topple over...she'd danced up onto the catwalk and when she lost her balance the rail gave way under her. She remembered thinking that River was becoming a waterfall, flowing down the cliff face onto the rocky shore below...then Jayne had snatched her up, crushing her to his chest. Amazing how fast he could move. Her arms had gone around him, clinging there as she realized she did not want to be a waterfall. Suddenly he was her rock and she was holding on for dear life so the currents wouldn't drag her back down. She could feel their hearts beating together...too fast...too fast...she felt his voice rumble out of his chest...."you ok, Darlin'?"...she blinked at him, noticing their faces were nearly level and her feet were dangling at least a foot off the ground, yet she'd not felt so grounded since she'd woken up. So safe as she did in his arms, so alive as she heard the blood pumping in his veins. 

She leaned her head closer pressing her lips over his...her tongue slipping out to taste him...his lips soft, yet hard under hers...she felt the jolt of electricity go through him...his arms tighten even more...she could barely breath he was holding her so close. One of his arms shifted down as his mouth opened under hers...she poked her tongue in gently, wanting to taste even more of him, his rough chin scrapping against her smooth one. Her legs wrapped around his waist as his hand lifted her up a bit higher so her head was slightly above his, his arm now wrapped around the small of her back while he supported her. His tongue brushed gently against hers, coaxing her in more deeply. As she slid her tongue alongside his he growled deep in his chest...she felt his other hand move up, his strong fingers tangling into her hair...holding her captive. Then his tongue moved into her, he was like a starving man as he explored every inch of her mouth, roughly, passionately. River wondered if they pressed up closer if they would meld together, become one person. 

It felt to her like they could....like they should....neither one of them was a whole person. Perhaps together they would be. 

Then he was dragging his mouth away from hers...she heard her sound of protest as he started to push her away, setting her roughly down on the cold, hard catwalk. She looked up at him, catching a glimpse of the pain and self-loathing at what he had been doing before his walls closed him off from her. Closed him off tighter then anyone had been closed to her before...she sobbed slightly at the loss of him...saw the flicker of disgust at himself as he misinterpreted it as a sound of fear of him instead of what it was, fear of the loss of him. Then the last wall clanged into place and he whirled around, stalking off to his bunk, leaving her more alone then she had ever been in her life. She'd cried when she got back to her bed, Simon had found her curled up with dried tears on her cheeks the next morning. He'd given her a smoother and she had slept at last. 

Jayne had stayed shut off to her after that...oh...she still got glimpses of what he was doing like before...it was just that his mind was closed off to her. But sometimes...sometimes something flickered there in his eyes...pain...longing...hunger. She knew why he'd shut her out, had felt it before he'd gotten his defenses up so she knew that despite what it felt like he wasn't as indifferent to her as he wanted her to think. She knew the others felt the tension, knew they wondered at it...Simon had asked if Jayne had done anything to her. She'd lied and said no because what Jayne had done was not anywhere near what her brother was thinking. Jayne had stopped himself from doing what Simon feared, that was the whole problem. Then they had adjusted to her wounded looks and Jayne's coldness. And slowly she had stopped hurting so much...she knew it drove Jayne crazy that she'd taken to sitting so close to him most of the time...started stealing his favorite hat every chance she got, the orange fuzzy one his Mom had made him that looked so adorable on him. She knew what she was doing, she was trying to get him used to her being near him, sharing his life, his space...he grumbled and growled at her, avoided her as much as he could and became even more unbearable to live with then he ever had been. Ironically it had made her easier for the others to live with, she was more lucid and showed more awareness then before. Plus they all loved seeing Jayne sputter every time he walked into the mess and she was wearing his hat. If one of them spotted her before Jayne did they made a real effort to alert the others she was at it again. 

She loved wearing that hat nearly as much as she loved seeing Jayne in it, if he wasn't going to let her get close to him then it was the best she could do. And at least it smelled like him. 

She became aware that the comfortableness had left the mess....the stories and laughter had stopped. She looked up as all her awareness seeped back into the here and now, noticing Jayne standing across the table from her....a silly wrapped package in his hand. Her heart gave an expectant thump as Jayne dropped the box in front of her. "Here, ya might as well have it, I ain't got no use for it." he grumbled. She picked it up tenderly...so light, she wondered what in the 'verse it could be. She shook it slightly, her face right up next to it, smelled it (there was a hint of Jayne there)....unaware how closely she mimicked Jayne's own reactions when he'd first received that box with his hat in it. Cautiously, her heart pounding in her chest, she pulled the paper off, taking a deep breath before opening the box. 

* * *

Jayne watched the slight rise of River's chest as she drew in a breath before opening his present, she was wearing her one form fitting dress and it did funny things to his blood pressure. A little white number with little lacy sleeves, first time he'd seen it had been the day he got his hat an' Zo and Mal got their undead guy. It made him wonder if she hadn't known all along what Kaylee'd been planning for her tonight since it was the closest she had to a party dress. He found himself praying a bit that she wouldn't react to his gift like Megan had. 

River slowly opened the box, this was the one present she had no clue what it was and she wanted to savor that...plus, it was Jayne's present...made it even more special. She could feel the curiosity from the rest of the crew pressing in on her...they all wondered what the big mercenary would give her. Normally Jayne's presents, when he gave them, tended to guns or knives...except for Kaylee of course, last birthday he'd given her a box of chocolate covered strawberries. She hoped her brother had gotten the hint on what to get Kaylee next time, this year he'd gotten her a book...and not even a good one like the Kama Sutra. She looked down into the box...gently moving the paper inside to reveal what was there...her fingers brushed against the satiny material before she saw the pink... 

Her wide eyes shot up to Jayne's face as she felt the breath catch in her throat. She heard Kaylee asking what it was from a distance. Dimly she was aware that she was cradling the box up close to her chest protectively. Simon let out a curse, then asked what that ape had given her...also something about are you ok, River? 

"River?" Simon asked again, putting an arm around her protectively as he scowled at Jayne. 

"I'm ok, Simon" she heard herself answer...then to Kaylee, "He gave me his heart." 

Her eyes were still on Jayne so she saw his reaction quite clearly....he looked like she'd just poleaxed him. 

"He gave you his WHAT???" Simon and the Captain said in unison. 

"Heart" She repeated patently. 

Jayne had gone from white to bright red by this time. "It ain't a heart in there", he grumbled, "they're just a pair of ruttin' ballet slippers!" 

"Ballet slippers?" Wash asked incredulously, "....did I hear that right, Wife?" 

"I'm not sure, Husband" Zo answered, "Sure sounded like he said ballet slippers." 

"How sweet!" come from Kaylee as she beamed up at Jayne. 

"Who is this alien and what did it do with Jayne?" asked Wash. 

Inara barely smothered her chuckle as Jayne bared his teeth at Wash, "This ain't funny, Little Man" he growled "I'll be in my bunk", with that Jayne stalked out of the mess. 

"River?" Simon said, "if Jayne gave you ballet slippers why did you say he'd given you his heart?" Simon had a puzzled/worried look on his face. 

"They are a symbol of his heart" River explained, "I'll be in Jayne's bunk" River stood up and started to go after Jayne until Simon grabbed her arm as she moved around his chair. 

"No River, you can't" Simon sounded like someone was suffocating him. 

"It's all right Simon" she told him gently, "Jayne will never hurt me...he stopped me from becoming a waterfall and became my rock, and just because you do not understand something does not mean it doesn't make sense." 

River gently removed Simon's hand from her wrist and smiled at everyone, "Thank you all for a wonderful birthday" she said, then bent down and kissed Simon lightly on the top of his head, "Goodnight, I'll be in Jayne's bunk" she repeated, more firmly this time....then walked down the hall to find Jayne, leaving the rest of the crew in shock. 

* * *

Jayne twisted the hat in his hands...why had that gorram girl said he'd given her his heart...they was just a pair of ballet slippers...that was all...nothing more then that. 

Only, Jayne knew they meant so much more then that to him, it just floored him the girl had known right off like that...and told every damn one of them, too! His gut twisted inside, wondering what they all thought of him now...takin' advantage of lil' slip of a girl, no doubt. And why the ruttin' hell was he carin' what they all thought anyway! 

Stupid Wash and his snide comments...and the look Simon had given him like he was lower then a dung beetle...Cap'n had kept his silence 'cept that one comment, but Jayne had seen the anger and betrayal in his eyes...Kaylee seemed to think it was some grand romantic gesture on his part, well, maybe it kinda had been....as romantic as he was capable of anyways....Lord knows what Book thought of him now, or Inara and Zo...they'd hid their feelin's on it pretty well, though they had seemed more amused then anything...River probably knew what they was thinkin' though... 

"Jayne..." her voice drifted down to him. He looked up in time to catch her dropping the rest of the way down into his room, though she stayed there next to the ladder. Lookin' at him all seriouslike, "We need to talk" 

"I ain't in the mood for talkin'" Jayne scowled down at his hat. 

"Ok, we can have the sex first if you want" River sounded very matter of fact as she said that. Jayne looked up in shock....then saw the smile tugging at the corner of her pretty little mouth. 

"Gorramit River, that wasn't funny!" He watched her warily as she moved farther into the room...settling down next to him on the bunk. She set the box down beside her then reached over and gently pried the hat out of his hands....smoothing it back out. Jayne stared at her hands in fascination, they were so slim and pale with delicate blue veins tracing underneath her skin. Nothing at all like the hands of the women he usually fancied. 

"That's because the women you usually fancy are the farthest from her, from me, as you can find", River said solemnly, "you've been seeking out the ones most like how you perceive yourself instead of looking for the one that fills the holes up inside." she touched his chest lightly, " That was why you loved her, because she was so different from you....had qualities you felt you lacked. She had some of my qualities. But because she could not see that you have some qualities she lacked she rejected you...but I can see it...I can see where we fit together. And that brings us to the point of why she was wrong for you...she had no parts that are like you...it's hard for an orange to teach an apple how to peal a pear....or at least pointless. But you and I have some parts in common, makes the different bits fit together." 

Jayne looked at her in wonder, feeling something cold and hard inside loosen up. "She wouldn't have fit in those gorram shoes, would she?" He asked. 

"No, she wouldn't have...her feet were too big" River replied with a sweet smile, "They are my shoes anyway, if she had accepted them then I would have had to kill her." 

Jayne studied River's face, looking for some clue if she was jokin' or not...and not finding one. He chuckled darkly, "Yeah, well...she didn't so..." 

"So...." River looked up at him, "I said what I wanted too...did you have anything to add or can we get to the sex now?" 

Jayne couldn't help himself, he started laughing. "Well now, good to know one of the Tam's ain't afraid to ask for what they want" 

"Simon always was a bit slow" River grinned mischievously. She reached out and ran a fingertip up his arm, sending a shiver through him, then lightly cupped her hand around his biceps. "So solid" she murmured, then leaned towards him and kissed him gently on the lips. 

Jayne felt her breast brush up against his arm as she stood up and moved in front of him, still pressing her lips to his as she straddled him. He let his arms move around her, just holding her loosely for now, letting her get comfortable. He felt his lips part under her insistent tongue, let her explore him. Her fingers were brushing against his face now, like she wanted to memorize every hollow and angle there with them. As her hands started to run through his hair her lips moved up to brush lightly against his closed eyes. He was loving having her touch him like this...all softness....like he was something precious to her. He wasn't used to anyone thinkin' he was anything special. It felt like she was healing the broken pieces inside. That scared him a little because he wasn't sure he'd be able to heal her broken pieces in return. He was more like to break things then fix 'em. She deserved better'n the likes of him.... 

"shhhhhhh......" River whispered to him as she pulled his head down onto her chest, "no more of this putting down the man I gave my heart too..." 

Jayne's heart did some weird flippy flop at that and his arms tightened around her as he lifted his head to look up at her. "It's true girl, you deserve bett..." 

"I said shhh..." River looked down at him sternly, then her face softened again, "besides, you deserve better then some crazy witc..." 

"Stop!! I get the idea girl! And ya ain't crazy...just...." Jayne's brow creased as he searched for the word he wanted, "...over-stimulated sometimes." 

River arched one of her eyebrows, then chuckled low in her throat...all huskylike "I wish I was...over-stimulated...right now" 

Jayne growled at her, standing up with her then dropping her onto the bed, pinning her down. "That's it girl, now yer askin' for it" 

"I thought I asked for it an hour ago" River said innocently, looking up at him and batting her eyelashes. 

River sighed as Jayne crushed his lips against hers...'bout time he got down to business. She shifted under him to get her leg free so she could wrap them around him, loving the way he reacted to her movement. His hands slid down her arms to rest on her sides, almost, but not quite cupping her breasts, leaving her hands free to continue exploring him. He stayed slightly propped up so he wouldn't crush her....even in his passion a little worried about hurting her...she loved that about him, even as she wanted to get so much closer to him...but then...it also gave her a chance to get that shirt off him. She pulled the shirt out of his waistband, sliding it up his back...letting her fingers explore his bare skin as they moved up to his neck...she felt him shudder again. His lips moved down to her throat...kissing her in the little hollow there....then tracing along her collarbone...slowly moving down to place wet kisses on the soft swell of breast left exposed by her dress. He shifted so she could pull his top off...then settled back over her...piercing blue eyes looking down at her. 

"You sure this is how you want it, River?" His face looked so concerned, she smiled up at him, "Yes Jayne, this is how I want it." 

Jayne nodded down at her then lowered his soft, hard lips to her again...drinking her in...his thumbs caressing the sides of her breasts...River moaned against his mouth...she let her hands slid off his back and onto his stomach....savoring the sharp intake of his breath and the silky feel of the hair covering his hard abdomen. He slowly lowered himself onto his side, then rolled over pulling her on top of him as their lips stayed locked together. She let herself slide down his chest....her lips and fingers tracing a path down his chest, his stomach...getting to know the taste of him...all sweat and gun oil and Jayneness. Gently she was undoing his pants and pulling them down...giggling a little as they caught on his boots. "Sorry....forgot to take those off first " she whispered to him...he groaned and waited, somewhat patiently for her to get the boots off so she could remove his pants. River sat at his feet letting her gaze wander up him slowly, admiring the now naked length of him, memorizing him with her eyes. She moved back up him so that she could lay on top of him....chest to chest, heartbeats pounding together...just for a moment, then she moved to straddle him so she could get her dress off. Jayne reached around her to help get the back of it open...he pulled the front of the dress down as the clasps gave way. She watched as a look of awe came over his face...his hands slowly moving up to cup her breasts...his rough fingers caressing her hard nipples...she arched her back so he could work his magic better...wondering how his callused hands could move so gently on her smooth skin, tease such sweet sensations out of it. Swiftly, gracefully she pulled the dress up from around her waist and off over her head..."so beautiful, my beautiful Boa Bai..." he whispered. 

She started kissin' his chest, teasing his nipples with her pink tongue. Ahh...she was driving him crazy with that tongue of hers. He knew he couldn't hold out much longer and he wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine before this was over, so he dragged her back up and flipped her over onto her back again in one smooth motion. He smiled down at her startled expression. "Didn't think I was gonna let you have all the fun, did ya Darlin'?" he gave her his most playful leer, hopin' he hadn't scared her none. "What, you think you can use that tongue of yours better then I can use mine?" she grinned up at him with a wicked challenge in her eyes. Jayne just growled at her and set to showin' her he'd learned a thing or two about driving a woman crazy...teasing her with more then just his tongue. He breathed across her heated flesh just so and she moaned for more....so he rubbed his cheek against her...just barely grazing her flesh with the stubble there. Her back arched up as she squirmed under him, trying to get him to take her hard nipple into his mouth...he moved so she was almost there and chuckled slightly, knowing his breath across her breast was driving her wild, then lightly ran his tongue across the tip of her. "Oh God...now Jayne....please..." she moaned. He looked up at her flushed face, judging if it was really time. Felt that she was ready for him as he reached down and slid inside her as she wrapped her slender limbs around him again.. 

They moved together slowly at first, Jayne amazed at how good it felt inside her...all soft and slick around him. He couldn't stop watching her face, her big eyes growing heavy lidded with the passion building inside her. Her eyes locked onto his as he quickened the pace, taking them both to their fall. 

Jayne lowered himself back onto his side, feeling River curl up with her back pressed into his chest as their breathing returned to normal. He noticed that they were breathing in time together, almost like they were sharin' a lung, as he was dragged down into a deep, content sleep. 

River twisted around so she could see Jayne's face once she knew he was deeply asleep and would not wake easily. His arms tightened around her like he was scared she was trying to leave..she reached up and lightly traced his jaw. This man amazed her...yes, he was sometimes callous and crude and cold...she smiled slightly at the thought...but still...for all that once he let himself care he cared very deeply and he made her feel safe. And he was hers. 

* * *

Jayne stood just outside the mess looking in at the desolate figure sitting at the table with his head resting on his arms. He knew Simon was there waiting for River to need his help. He just couldn't bring himself to trust Jayne not to cause his lil' sister harm. For a moment Jayne thought of heading back to his bunk and River, but he was hungry and Simon would have to be faced eventually, might as well get it over with now. 'Sides, wouldn't want anyone thinkin' he was scared to face the Doc, and a little voice whispered in his head that Simon's feelin's on this were important. Jayne just hoped he didn't make to much of a ruttin' mess of things, neither him nor the Doc was known for talkin' about feelin's an all. He tried to stifle the snort before Simon heard it, but no...Simon lifted his head and looked up at him. 

"Bored with her already?" Simon asked harshly as he sat up straight in his chair. 

"In your dreams, Doc" Jayne snarled back. Oh, not good...nice Jayne, be nice, he thought to himself as Simon started to stand. Jayne put a hand on his shoulder and pressed him back down in the chair. "Don't..." he said "we need to talk, not fight." 

Simon watched him warily as he fixed himself a plate of leftovers, probably scared that those words had actually come out of his mouth. Truth was Jayne was a little scared he'd said them himself, gorram girl was makin' him all soft. Jayne sat across from Simon at the table figurin' it'd be best if the Doc couldn't reach him too easylike. 

"Ya know why I didn't like ya none when you came onboard Doc?" he asked Simon after a moment of silence. 

"Because you're an ape?" Simon answered, trying to goad him he knew. 

Jayne forced the retort back down, be nice, be nice becoming a mantra in his head. "No, it was because Kaylee liked you. Got all sweet on ya right away. See, she's like a lil' sis to me. I left my family a long time ago Doc and never found me no one that cared for me like that till I got here. Took me a long time to see that they was familylike to me, 'cept for little Kaylee. And I just knew a prissy little core Doctor like yourself was going to cause her pain" Jayne noticed Simon's surprised look but kept on talkin', "and then you used her life as your little bargainin' chip and I knew you was trouble." Good, flash of pain and shame there in Simon's eyes. 

"I didn't mean for that to happen." he said softly. 

"Ah hell Doc," Jayne said roughly, "we all done things we ain't proud of out here, me more'n most." Jayne looked at Simon closely, trying to judge how to say what he needed too. "....it weren't just about the money, ya know. Not sayin' that wasn't a part of it an' it don't make it right, I know that, but way I saw it you and your sister brought a threat to Serenity that I wasn't willin' to accept back then. And if I got rich off of removing that threat so much the better." Jayne looked down at his plate, noticing he was pushing the food around rather then eating it. "It was wrong, what I done...and I'm sorry." There, that'd been easier to say then he'd feared. "Can't say I blame ya none for not trustin' me after that, but things have changed since then. I ain't the same, well, I am...but..." Damn it, he was no good at this "expressing" himself crap. Jayne scowled down at the plate. 

"You actually care for her" Simon said, a look of shocked disbelief on his face. 

"She's the best gorram thing ever happened to me in all my miserable life Doc, and I'm full aware I don't deserve her. So's at least you and I can agree on that." Jayne found himself grinnin' at Simon. Surprisingly Simon smiled back, a bit weakly...but it was a start. 

* * *

Many thanks to ZombieKat13 for letting me steal her words...the line "it's hard for an orange to teach an apple how to peal a pear....or at least pointless." is hers, I put it in River's speech because it felt like it belonged there. 

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Title:   **Ballad Of Jayne**   
Author:   **Neroli**   [email]   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **R**  |  **het**  |  **37k**  |  **03/12/04**   
Characters:  Malcolm, Zoe, Wash, Kaylee, Inara, Jayne, Simon, River, Book   
Pairings:  Jayne/River   
Summary:  Jayne remembers the past and River has a birthday, plus some romance.   
  



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